Review of powerup comics review

First paragraph:

Holy freaking Jesus Christ on a cracker is your comma key stuck down or something? Here's a tip...DON'T FUCKING USE COMMAS AT ALL! Seriously, you need, to stop, using them, all the time, to make, these giant, run on, sentences and for dramatic pauses. Use a hyphen or some periods or some shit because seriously, the comma is fucking tired from being used by you so much.

In here friends of originality, that ambrosia sought so desperately on those angry streets at dawn, will find no fellow traveller, for the well-familiar archetypes are established in quick succession from the very first strip. Two comrades, united in their mutual hobby of gaming, a couch that said hobby takes place on, and a talking inanimate object.

Seriously. Please stop it. If you want to write in a conversational tone you can CERTAINLY turn towards using sentence fragments like I just did. The commas are just staring at me now like the 12:00 on a VCR when I'm suffering from insomnia. Thanks for reminding us that every comic about games emulates PA though. I couldn't remember if they emulated PA or Dinosaur Comics, so I really honestly appreciate that.

Gaming 'humor' in general is a black hole of comedy, and Powerup Comics only reinforces that truth, as it not only has stock gaming webcomic characters but stock gaming webcomic jokes as well. The Wii has poor graphics? How cutting-edge! What's next, Shadow and Chug? Jack Thompson jokes? That's right! Oh and Nintendo must have been on WEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDdd to come up with their crazy game concepts AM I CORRECT IN THIS ASSUMPTION!?? Why don't you fucks eat a bullet of creativity or something, by which I mean kill yourselves, with a bullet that you shoot into your mouth? Die shittingly.

I would argue that a "black hole of comedy" isn't quite accurate since black holes have entropy and will eventually lose their power to suck whereas gaming humor will never cease or waver in suckitude. Why then, have you still not chosen to review PA yet? Too many fanboys says the smart money.

The part about recommending suicide is overworked as usual and unneeded. Why not just go with "die in a fire" or "criticize Naruto in front of a middle school"?

But inadvertent entertainment does not excuse Powerup Comics' faults, and nor does it excuse the faults of the creators as their takes on homosexuality, race, politics and history betray a worldview that is supremely ignorant at best.

Wow, that is just plain horrible. Agree'd.

All in all, I can only wish death on Chug and Shadow. That's right, death, and not the kind of death that leads to the childish hopes promised by religion (by the way I highly doubt that Chug and Shadow possess the intellectual maturity to be logic-choosing Atheists such as myself), but to actual, shitting, death. Because they are simply horrible people, and not just for the comic alone, as mentioned above. What I wouldn't doubt would be that they were libertarians, as libertarianism is the political ideology most suited for spoiled children who feel entitled to things and should also probably die because the world won't miss them. In fact I would have assumed their support of Ron Paul straight-up if it wasn't for that comic about Ron Paul. I wouldn't be surprised if they came out in support of Obama next. They're halfway there, after all, and Obama is the perfect fit for those who love imaginary friends and are twelve years old.

There's a certain irony about someone harping on others for being immature and acting like spoiled children while at the same time wishing death upon people who've done nothing wrong other than to be ignorant jackasses that make a horrible comic. It's just out and out hypocrisy the likes of which people who frequent your blog should be used to by now. Hilarious.

Lastly, just look at the comic's misogyny. Apparently women are simply props to demonstrate the desirability that proficiency in video gaming grants in Shadow and Chug's world. Alix, the only female character, is hardly developed past her gamer-girl sarcasm and inexplicable attraction to Shadow, the self-insert character of Shadow, the primary author. For these additional transgressions they deserve to die, even more than they already do. That's it, I can't go on anymore. This terrible rape-abortion of a comic by these buttshoes has broken me, has broken all of us. It's a fitting coda for this project. The following are my parting words, and possibly the last you will ever hear from us, so heed them well.

How can you start a paragraph with "all-in-all" without that being your closing paragraph? How can you go on to close a paragraph with "parting words..." and then go on to add TWO MORE paragraphs after that? WHAT THE HELL MAN?! Not only that but midway through you said "i can't go on anymore" well then, you've said it, you're done with this? Then NO it turns out the reader must slog on through more and more run on sentences connect with billions of commas, and insults that consist of "butt" with a random noun affixed to it.

There are no good webcomics. At all. Without exception. By pretending otherwise we give the legitimacy of our tacit assent to a shithole of a medium that shouldn't be in the same language as the word 'art'. Even the best webcomic and the best webcomic blog (this one) is naught but Powerup Comics translated - a shallow reflection of a culture, tepid and utterly empty, contributing absolutely nothing of its own.

PBF, you worthless moron. I know you want to be Yahtzee but really you are trying WAY too hard here. You aren't Yahtzee, you never will be Yahtzee and nobody ever really thought you were Yahtzee the moment they realized that Yahtzee isn't some moron who can barely follow grammatical rules long enough to criticize others for breaking those same rules. Seriously though, PBF is damn good and I'd wager that your criticisms stated here for webcomics in general also extend to comics. Aside from say, peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes there aren't many good ones.

Your Dehumanization of others is bad and you should feel bad.

Today I'll be doing something a little different from the norm. As important is it is that there is someone to keep the mainstream web comic review media in check sometimes there are more important things going on in the world. The State Supreme Court in California today ruled that all people should have equal rights whether they love someone of the same sex or of a sex which is entirely different from their own.

The original article was pooped onto the internet here.

First off, "Alliance Defense Fund"? What are you defending and who are you defending aside from your own bigoted views? Just be intellectually honest and call yourself the "we hate fags" club.

“The government should promote and encourage strong families. The only way to make sure it does so in California is to amend the state constitution to protect marriage. That’s ultimately the only avenue to ensure that no one interferes with the will of the people,” said ADF Senior Counsel Glen Lavy, who argued before the court

Woah. "Protect marriage" by banning people from getting married? I guess that's pretty much the last resort since the rate of divorce among same-sex couples is 57% and the rate for different-sex couples is much much lower.

Oh wait, I have that confused. Same-sex marriage hasn't been legal but different-sex marriage has a 57% failure rate. I'm no thereapist or otherwise an expert on what makes marriage work but doesn't it seem like the more people have in common the better they'll be able to get along over time? Seems like people who are both the same sex would have a whole hell of a lot in common right out of the gate, whereas heterosexual couples start out at a severe disadvantage.

Also, about interfering with the will of the people, sometimes the will of the people has to be interfered with you brain-dead retard. That's why we have seatbelt laws and laws against heroine underage drinking etc. People are oftentimes far too stupid to be allowed to do whatever the hell they want to do, like keep others from having equal rights. Also, IIRC the same arguement was used in Loving v. Virginia and we all know how that turned out.

The voters realize that defining marriage as one man and one woman is important because the government should not, by design, deny a child both a mother and father,” Lavy explained.

This is akin to saying "because the government did not bail out Mars corp, they are denying Americans the right to eat candy" or something...You know who's denying children the right to have a mother and a father? 18 year old sluts with 6 children all from different fathers living on welfare smoking crack and selling weed. You know, like your mistress.

Californians will likely have the opportunity to vote on a proposed amendment in November. The text of the proposed amendment is available at www.protectmarriage.com/read.php.

I wish I had enough faith in humanity to believe that the amendment won't pass, but I don't. I really wish you and all the hate-monger neo-nazis polluting the state would just do us all a favor and die in a meth-lab accident.