You Shall Rue The Day You Came Out Of Hiatus, John Solomon!

Hello y'all. It's the Hookie Dookie Panic guy again, desperately trying to become as popular and cool as the CAD guy. Unfortunately I don't have the force of will to show my penis to someone underaged in my forums.

At any rate, since people still give a shit about this I figured I should offer a retort to John Solomon's attempt to be as funny and clever as Yahtzee while failing miserably. So God Mode, huh? To the uninitiated, God Mode is like pvp online with tits and "edgy" content. Also, it's "poorly drawn" style reminds people of those Brendon Smalls cartoons because of the squiggly lines.

Sure man, it is tiring to see game references alone being used as humor, but is it any better than shit like Electric Retard where OMG HITLER and OMG BABY RAPE are considered the height of hilarity? Sure, jokes about big corporations being the Borg are older than time itsself, and sure, Squaresoft is much closer to the necrons, but it's mildly funny in a way that pleases the kind of people who watch all those 10,000 crappy parody movies that come out every year with the Wayons brothers and actually tell the audience where the various references come from so they don't feel insulted.

See, one of the things you people don't get (because you're fucking stupid and can be entertained by pretty flashing lights and electronic beeps) is that something text-based, like a book or a blog entry or a podcast (text can also be read aloud, before you hurr at me), has to have words in. Don't end your sentences with a preposition for God's sake. I know this isn't the kind of thing that Word of Firefox extensions or IE8 or that crappy mac browser picks up on, but come on man, put some effort into this crap instead of just doing a rambling stream-of-consciousness kind of thing. As far as your complaint about the comic being a giant wall of text, that seems unfounded. If you take some random samples and compare them to PA (a comic whose fans are still waiting with baited breath to be trolled by the Great John Solomon btw) you'll discover that God Mode isn't guilty of too many words syndrome any more than the next guy.

The complaint about sticking to 4 panels even if the world is crumbling around him, that I'll give you. You have to remember though, the guy is trying to avoid scaring his audience which is quite stupid and may be angered greatly by any deviation from an expected pattern.

What the hell is the deal with the much-labored pun of "pandered/panda"? I could see if you were doing this about PVPonline which uses pandas for it's own "wacky violence" but as it is you take entirely too long to make the damn thing work, by the time you're finished the reader is left saying "all that work for nothing?". It's like those tales from Lake Woebegone on Prairie Home Companion except for the fact that those are actually funny. The comic you chose to link to for "impossibly figured" is an ironic choice. The material you object to was placed as satire. You don't understand what satire is, which explains a whole hell of a lot about both your blog and your fans.

Yes, the comic is unfunny, thank you for stating that point once again. I'm sure nobody noticed the first 3 times you already said that the comic is unfunny and posted several links. Eye of Judgment jokes suck nearly as much as portal jokes, this goes without saying.

In closing I find it odd that you have such resentment for gamers who are supposedly clamoring for this crappy comic. I personally am not aware that this has any larger a fan base than say, some random sprite comic or some furry furry comic about some fae-kin's wacky adventure with their bisexual ferret cohort. No, in fact since the God Mod Guy never blogs about how cool he is or how he got so much great hate mail for his latest attack on some random game designer chick who dared to leave the kitchen it's fair to say that gamers are at least smart enough to avoid the steaming pile of crap which is God Mode.

I should, however, append that glowing defense of gamers by adding that Mario & Sonic at the Olympics sold more copies than every Lucasarts adventure game combined. Good job, morons. In closing: keep on writing these crappy reviews, and keep on sending your hordes of adoring fanboys my way. Their delicious tears sustain me.